Saturday, February 17, 2007

STUPID PEOPLE SAY STUPID THINGS

As I posted previously, I recently broke my ankle and also fractured it.  I, therefore, am stuck wearing this 8 pound boot on my foot.  Everyone in my family has called me, which was thoughtful.  Alright here comes what I like to call my "Seinfeld Opinion".

Why is it that when somebody speaks to me or sees me asks, "How did you do it?" and I give the short version of it, they begin lecturing me?  I have heard the following and what I have thought as a response in my head:

1.  Why would you walk your dog alone at night?  Don't you know it is dangerous?
R.  No, I live in a safe area, I am with my dog and I carry pepper spray.  I am well capable of handling any given situation.

2.  How could you believe that your dog would rescue you when you just adopted him?
R.  I didn't believe it, but I have a little something called faith!  Ever heard of it?

3.  Are you taking Vicodin or something else for pain?  You're not?!?!  Whoa!!
R.  I don't need Vicodin, I need to heal.  I can tough it out.  Would it be nice?  Yeaaaaa, but not necessary.  Besides, I have other ways of taking my mind off of it.

4.  Did you give your dog a treat when you got home?
R.  No, I just ignored him because I'm a complete ass.

Alright, there you have it.  At least I haven't gone out and shaved my head like BS (Britney Spears).  Although, I must confess that while I was getting my nails done I did consider getting both my eyebrows waxed off.  Why?  Because I'm a complete moron!!!!!

Yadda, yadda, yadda……………………..as George Castanza said, "I like pity….pity is good.  You know pity is very under-rated."  or even better as Kramer would say, "Yeah, giddy-up!"

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Comments on STUPID PEOPLE SAY STUPID THINGS »

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Tom @ 5:06 pm

Should have stuck with the ballroom dancing story instead of giving the slipping on ice/heroic dog story…

Actually, it's a great story with a happy ending. Just don't let those morons get you down. Oh yeah, give the dog oodles of treats!!

Heal fast.

Monday, February 19, 2007

BB-Idaho @ 7:52 pm

It seems wearing a cast draws attention. Years ago, I had a college buddy who would put one on and sit in the ski lodge, thinking to attract sympathetic 'snowbunnies'. I suspect his stories were quite creative.

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